My old friend Janine used to say that...don't let the door hit ya...I don't hear from her anymore...I have lost touch with so many people...my fault...I didn't want to burden people with my misery.
I hope I can start to turn that around...I need to take baby steps in that process. Something to work on...
I'm glad to see this year end...so much that was sad and bad.
I hope the New Year blesses everyone with happiness, health and wisdom...and me, I need money and a job.
Happy New Year
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Thank you for your wishes of good will and love and caring.
Remember that most of what is happening is my own doing...there are so many people that deserve your prayers and good thoughts more than I...innocents that have done nothing to deserve their station in life...
I cannot thank you enough for your love and caring, but I don't know that I deserve it...considering there are so many that have nothing...
Thank you for your wishes of good will and love and caring.
Remember that most of what is happening is my own doing...there are so many people that deserve your prayers and good thoughts more than I...innocents that have done nothing to deserve their station in life...
I cannot thank you enough for your love and caring, but I don't know that I deserve it...considering there are so many that have nothing...
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Missing my dear friend and Merry Christmas to All
Hey there Sister Golden Hair...miss you muchly...
Merry Christmas on All
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
What the hell does this mean?
"I wasn't brought up like that."
Some old brouhaha over $7.14. Yep, that's right, $7.14. Alex is trying to sell some land he inherited from his grandfather (his father's father). If he can sell it he will be able to escape. G-d I hope he can sell it, even though the price is not good for a seller in this ridiculous economy.
The land is located in Florida. He had to fax about 20 pages of documents to the estate agent in Florida. The first time, the fax was not received, so he had to send it again. We have a fax machine. I didn't think it was a big deal.
This was all done in October. Well, when mom got her phone bill she freaked out. Who had done such a thing, who is making long distance calls...on and on and on.
I guess someone who is brought up the way we were would do such a horrible thing.
In her anger she cancelled the long distance plan for the house telephone.
I didn't use the long distance for anything but faxing resumes. I tried to keep up with those charges and make sure they were paid for.
Now, if Alex or I need to fax something long distance, we must go to one of those places that places a surcharge onto whatever the actual cost of the call is.
We never use her house phone, really. We both have cell phones and use them. Now she is threatening to have the house telephone disconnected...yep, that will show us. Bad, bad, terribly brought-up people that we are.
Also, Alex got into a bag of potato chips that mom had bought. And all hell has broken out. I have told him NOT to eat any of her food. You would think that we had actually committed horrid crimes.
The food hoarding is nothing new, that has been going on as long as I can remember. In fact, that is one of the reasons I have eating disorders, or so I was told by one of my many therapists over the years.
When we were small, she would hide food on the tops of tall shelves or in the trunk of the car. I never thought it was odd until I saw that other families did not do such things. Lisa became overweight, and has struggled with that all her life...I had always been thin up until menopause when I started to put on some poundage.
She will rail if something is eaten. When I was working it wasn't so much of an issue. I bought all the food, never hid any of it, and when something was finished off, I would buy more. She will let things spoil and then complain about having to throw out food...it is maddening.
Food, long distance phone service, toothpaste, a misplaced dish, an item left in the sink, all things that are of such minor significance all become major issues.
If she was indeed poor, we would not be here. I would have applied for public assistance and would be living out of a hovel somewhere. It is all about control I suppose. She wants to control us.
So, back to "I wasn't brought up like that." I guess that means, that we (Alex and I) were brought up poorly. Well, I certainly know I was. I have tried to make sure that Alex was brought up well, I have made many mistakes and have discussed my failings with him.
So, once again, she is so far above us. She was raised so well that she cannot do anything wrong.
The standards she set for me were so high and so utterly unattainable that it would never make any difference what I did, it would never be good enough.
It is only through retrospect that I can see what a damaged child I was. I can remember disconnecting when the tension became so strong in the house. I would escape by hiding...in places in the neighborhood or closets and cupboards. At about age 8 the hand washing started, I would wash them until they were bleeding...no one noticed (of course I was very adept at concealing and hiding), by 10 I was pulling out hair and that became noticeable, but was not dealt with properly. She cut bangs to hide it. By the time I was 15 I was in full-blown anorexia and laxative abuse, and that went unnoticed.
For the longest time, I and my therapists thought the anorexia was due to the rigors and demands of ballet. It would be decades later that a therapist in Las Vegas (I was in my mid 40s by then) helped me to realise that it was not ballet, but the stress and tension and totally dysfunctional childhood that was at the root of the eating disorders.
How still marvel that I was ever able to conceive. At almost 5-8 I weighed about 94 pounds when I got pregnant with Alex. I was 30 years old.
At this late stage in my life, lights are shining on things that are so very horrible. I want to look away. It is easier to deny and make excuses and blame myself. There are so many studies that show that horribly abused children, children that are beaten and grossly neglected will still show allegiance toward their abusive parents. The reality of the abuse is less painful for them than the realisation that the people that are supposed to love, care for and protect you despise your very existence.
The self-loathing and blame is the most insidious of the legacy left. Having never learned to appropriately and healthily deal with anger, I turned on myself. Hitting, cutting, starving...emotionally abusive relationships. How I kept from being a drug addict or alcoholic I have no idea...I never went the drug route, I couldn't even take the pain meds after my knee surgeries...have abused alcohol at times...but never for very long and it never interfered with anything.
When I was studying for my psychology degree I am sure I must have seen myself in many of the case studies and disorders...but it was just too painful and anathema to recognise myself...after all, I had a perfect family...my mother "wasn't brought up like that"...
Which leads me to a question that I can never ask...how exactly was she brought up. My grandmother, her mother always seemed so fragile, albeit distant and sad. I thought that came from her losing her youngest child when he was only 16. Uncle Bobby had died at the age of 16 from drowning. He died 3 years before I was born.
My grandfather was a happy person. When they came to visit, grandpa would treat the entire neighborhood of children to ice cream and games. I never saw anger in either one of them...the only thing I ever heard my mom say that was the slightest bit negative was during World War II, she wanted to join the military and they said no. Otherwise, my mom talked about them like they were holy saints. I never heard anyone in the family say anything negative about either of them...so how do I explain my mother?
There probably isn't an explanation, perhaps its just the way she is wired.
Well, I'm off to dig up $7.14 for the offending telephone charges, and replace the potato chips...does that mean I wasn't brought up like that? Whatever that means.
As tedious is this is, to write all of it down, ok...type...it keeps me from wanting to hit and cut...so I guess that's a good thing. This blog is not at all what I started it out as...but I would like a strong drink...
Some old brouhaha over $7.14. Yep, that's right, $7.14. Alex is trying to sell some land he inherited from his grandfather (his father's father). If he can sell it he will be able to escape. G-d I hope he can sell it, even though the price is not good for a seller in this ridiculous economy.
The land is located in Florida. He had to fax about 20 pages of documents to the estate agent in Florida. The first time, the fax was not received, so he had to send it again. We have a fax machine. I didn't think it was a big deal.
This was all done in October. Well, when mom got her phone bill she freaked out. Who had done such a thing, who is making long distance calls...on and on and on.
I guess someone who is brought up the way we were would do such a horrible thing.
In her anger she cancelled the long distance plan for the house telephone.
I didn't use the long distance for anything but faxing resumes. I tried to keep up with those charges and make sure they were paid for.
Now, if Alex or I need to fax something long distance, we must go to one of those places that places a surcharge onto whatever the actual cost of the call is.
We never use her house phone, really. We both have cell phones and use them. Now she is threatening to have the house telephone disconnected...yep, that will show us. Bad, bad, terribly brought-up people that we are.
Also, Alex got into a bag of potato chips that mom had bought. And all hell has broken out. I have told him NOT to eat any of her food. You would think that we had actually committed horrid crimes.
The food hoarding is nothing new, that has been going on as long as I can remember. In fact, that is one of the reasons I have eating disorders, or so I was told by one of my many therapists over the years.
When we were small, she would hide food on the tops of tall shelves or in the trunk of the car. I never thought it was odd until I saw that other families did not do such things. Lisa became overweight, and has struggled with that all her life...I had always been thin up until menopause when I started to put on some poundage.
She will rail if something is eaten. When I was working it wasn't so much of an issue. I bought all the food, never hid any of it, and when something was finished off, I would buy more. She will let things spoil and then complain about having to throw out food...it is maddening.
Food, long distance phone service, toothpaste, a misplaced dish, an item left in the sink, all things that are of such minor significance all become major issues.
If she was indeed poor, we would not be here. I would have applied for public assistance and would be living out of a hovel somewhere. It is all about control I suppose. She wants to control us.
So, back to "I wasn't brought up like that." I guess that means, that we (Alex and I) were brought up poorly. Well, I certainly know I was. I have tried to make sure that Alex was brought up well, I have made many mistakes and have discussed my failings with him.
So, once again, she is so far above us. She was raised so well that she cannot do anything wrong.
The standards she set for me were so high and so utterly unattainable that it would never make any difference what I did, it would never be good enough.
It is only through retrospect that I can see what a damaged child I was. I can remember disconnecting when the tension became so strong in the house. I would escape by hiding...in places in the neighborhood or closets and cupboards. At about age 8 the hand washing started, I would wash them until they were bleeding...no one noticed (of course I was very adept at concealing and hiding), by 10 I was pulling out hair and that became noticeable, but was not dealt with properly. She cut bangs to hide it. By the time I was 15 I was in full-blown anorexia and laxative abuse, and that went unnoticed.
For the longest time, I and my therapists thought the anorexia was due to the rigors and demands of ballet. It would be decades later that a therapist in Las Vegas (I was in my mid 40s by then) helped me to realise that it was not ballet, but the stress and tension and totally dysfunctional childhood that was at the root of the eating disorders.
How still marvel that I was ever able to conceive. At almost 5-8 I weighed about 94 pounds when I got pregnant with Alex. I was 30 years old.
At this late stage in my life, lights are shining on things that are so very horrible. I want to look away. It is easier to deny and make excuses and blame myself. There are so many studies that show that horribly abused children, children that are beaten and grossly neglected will still show allegiance toward their abusive parents. The reality of the abuse is less painful for them than the realisation that the people that are supposed to love, care for and protect you despise your very existence.
The self-loathing and blame is the most insidious of the legacy left. Having never learned to appropriately and healthily deal with anger, I turned on myself. Hitting, cutting, starving...emotionally abusive relationships. How I kept from being a drug addict or alcoholic I have no idea...I never went the drug route, I couldn't even take the pain meds after my knee surgeries...have abused alcohol at times...but never for very long and it never interfered with anything.
When I was studying for my psychology degree I am sure I must have seen myself in many of the case studies and disorders...but it was just too painful and anathema to recognise myself...after all, I had a perfect family...my mother "wasn't brought up like that"...
Which leads me to a question that I can never ask...how exactly was she brought up. My grandmother, her mother always seemed so fragile, albeit distant and sad. I thought that came from her losing her youngest child when he was only 16. Uncle Bobby had died at the age of 16 from drowning. He died 3 years before I was born.
My grandfather was a happy person. When they came to visit, grandpa would treat the entire neighborhood of children to ice cream and games. I never saw anger in either one of them...the only thing I ever heard my mom say that was the slightest bit negative was during World War II, she wanted to join the military and they said no. Otherwise, my mom talked about them like they were holy saints. I never heard anyone in the family say anything negative about either of them...so how do I explain my mother?
There probably isn't an explanation, perhaps its just the way she is wired.
Well, I'm off to dig up $7.14 for the offending telephone charges, and replace the potato chips...does that mean I wasn't brought up like that? Whatever that means.
As tedious is this is, to write all of it down, ok...type...it keeps me from wanting to hit and cut...so I guess that's a good thing. This blog is not at all what I started it out as...but I would like a strong drink...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The absolutely fabulous trinity
I have tried to practise lucid dreaming for sometime now...you know, creating and directing your dreams. I haven't been very successful lately. But last night as I tried to wind down in order to get to sleep a thought entered my mind...I don't know how it found room.
Anyway, I was thinking...Dame Judi Dench, Jessica Tandy or in my wildest dreams, Annie Lennox.
As my hair is almost totally white, having turned so much in the past year, I was thinking who I would like to become.
My last haircut was in August, very very close to my head, and even had a smart ass store clerk referred to me as sir. It's now grown out to what most people would consider short. So, if I was going for Dame Judi it would just need to be neatened up a bit. If I wanted to go for Annie Lennox I would need to have something put on it to make it more platinum and have it sheared up a bit. If I want to go for Jessica Tandy, I need to keep the shears away and let it grow out. I hate letting hair grow. And mine grows so excruciatingly slow.
I really like all three of those ladies. They each have qualities that are special to me and in my dreams I would be the magnificent combination of that fabulous trinity.
When I was teaching in Las Vegas, I had very long hair (I cut it all off after I moved back here) and I would normally pull it back. I went through almost every hair color there was during those years, my favorite red, the kids (my students) liked the blonde...go figure. Anyway, I remember a couple of my darlings commenting on my hair one day and saying I looked like the chimp lady...they were referring of course, to Jane Goodall...at first I was appalled, as she had to be like 70, and I was not even 50 at that time. But it was the hair, she pulled back her hair and we both have similar features.
I will be deciding which one I will let direct my hair..I should add that my mom hates short hair...and didn't stop coloring her hair until she was in her mid-seventies.
Judi, Jessica or Annie?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Mourning things that never were
This is the first year I did not celebrate Hanukkah, and it looks like we will not celebrate Christmas either.
I feel sorry for Faye, because even though she is 54 she is really
(on a good day) 3. I am glad they have decorations and trees and all that at her day care. They really go out to make sure the clients, as they are called, are cared for, entertained and fed. It really is a wonderful place and I'm glad she is able to attend.
I lied for years and years and ever about having a wonderful family. I lied about how nice and sweet my mom was and how she would do and say all these wonderfully supportive things.
I stopped lying a few years ago. Maybe its all my fault. Maybe if I start lying again I can make things good. No, that's how I got myself into this mess, lying. Had I been able to see things for what they are and not as how I would have liked them to be I could have avoided this whole stupid thing.
I offered to take Faye to day care this morning. Since Alex wrecked my car (he is having it rigged-repaired right now) mom has taken and picked up Faye - she doesn't trust me with her stupid little truck. Anyway, she barked at me and said something about she was used to waiting. I had no idea what it meant.
Any offer of help or show of kindness is met with harsh words and a pinched and angry face. Alex says he simply cannot take it much longer. He has nowhere to go, just like me. So we try to go about our business and stay out of her way.
When I had a tiny little kitchen in Las Vegas, it would be stuffed with Alex, Ian and I and often other friends. We would cook and wash and have the best times.
The kitchen here is much larger, but if she is in it, we all must leave as she shouts there is not enough room. There is plenty of room she just doesn't want us near her.
I overheard her on the phone the other day, gushing and being ever so sweet and nice, it was one of the people she used to work with. The man sends her cards and the family sends her pictures of their children, which she displays and remarks about how wonderful they are. She has all sorts of information about their lives, how the children do in school, their activities, sports... yet she knows nothing about us, about me, she cares not.
I have been thinking if I outlive her, how will I ever find her boys. I know their names, and that when she married my dad they lived with us for awhile, and then they went to live with their father. Does she ever communicate with them? Does she hate us so because she had to trade them for us? All questions and no answers.
That has always been the case, her love for other people and their children but not her own.
I remember when she told us that she wished she had never had us. I must have been around 18 or 19 and that would have made Lisa still in High School at 15 or 16. Lisa had already shut down after our dad died. So, I know it had to impact her, but she didn't react. Me, things like that wound me forever, and haunt me especially at night.
Alex once said when he was still rather small that Aunt Lisa was the smart one in the family, because she got out. She has created her own life, she never calls or comes by and basically has nothing to do with any of us.
My stupid sense of duty and responsibility has brought me nothing but pain. I wish I had been able to leave and disconnect like Lisa. Alex is right, she is the smart one in the family.
It is dark and cold and rainy and dismal...feeds right into my mood.
I must escape this somehow, someway.
I could have them place Faye in a nursing home, and then I could pack up what little I have left and just flee.
Then Esther would be free from us and she can have whatever it is she wants.
I feel sorry for Faye, because even though she is 54 she is really
(on a good day) 3. I am glad they have decorations and trees and all that at her day care. They really go out to make sure the clients, as they are called, are cared for, entertained and fed. It really is a wonderful place and I'm glad she is able to attend.
I lied for years and years and ever about having a wonderful family. I lied about how nice and sweet my mom was and how she would do and say all these wonderfully supportive things.
I stopped lying a few years ago. Maybe its all my fault. Maybe if I start lying again I can make things good. No, that's how I got myself into this mess, lying. Had I been able to see things for what they are and not as how I would have liked them to be I could have avoided this whole stupid thing.
I offered to take Faye to day care this morning. Since Alex wrecked my car (he is having it rigged-repaired right now) mom has taken and picked up Faye - she doesn't trust me with her stupid little truck. Anyway, she barked at me and said something about she was used to waiting. I had no idea what it meant.
Any offer of help or show of kindness is met with harsh words and a pinched and angry face. Alex says he simply cannot take it much longer. He has nowhere to go, just like me. So we try to go about our business and stay out of her way.
When I had a tiny little kitchen in Las Vegas, it would be stuffed with Alex, Ian and I and often other friends. We would cook and wash and have the best times.
The kitchen here is much larger, but if she is in it, we all must leave as she shouts there is not enough room. There is plenty of room she just doesn't want us near her.
I overheard her on the phone the other day, gushing and being ever so sweet and nice, it was one of the people she used to work with. The man sends her cards and the family sends her pictures of their children, which she displays and remarks about how wonderful they are. She has all sorts of information about their lives, how the children do in school, their activities, sports... yet she knows nothing about us, about me, she cares not.
I have been thinking if I outlive her, how will I ever find her boys. I know their names, and that when she married my dad they lived with us for awhile, and then they went to live with their father. Does she ever communicate with them? Does she hate us so because she had to trade them for us? All questions and no answers.
That has always been the case, her love for other people and their children but not her own.
I remember when she told us that she wished she had never had us. I must have been around 18 or 19 and that would have made Lisa still in High School at 15 or 16. Lisa had already shut down after our dad died. So, I know it had to impact her, but she didn't react. Me, things like that wound me forever, and haunt me especially at night.
Alex once said when he was still rather small that Aunt Lisa was the smart one in the family, because she got out. She has created her own life, she never calls or comes by and basically has nothing to do with any of us.
My stupid sense of duty and responsibility has brought me nothing but pain. I wish I had been able to leave and disconnect like Lisa. Alex is right, she is the smart one in the family.
It is dark and cold and rainy and dismal...feeds right into my mood.
I must escape this somehow, someway.
I could have them place Faye in a nursing home, and then I could pack up what little I have left and just flee.
Then Esther would be free from us and she can have whatever it is she wants.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
What does it take to get a State job (any job) in Georgia?
A nice lady suggested I look into State jobs...In the past 6 years, I have applied for 46 jobs (it seemed like there were more...one loses track). Out of those 46 jobs I think I got three interviews.
I must have applied for at least 200 hundred other jobs, ranging from no degree required or HS/GED.
Every day, I visit the State Jobs Site, the Georgia Department of Labor Site, Craigslist, and individual agency/company/industry sites...I use the newspaper want ads, I exhausted my contacts a long time ago...I use the Fed's Site...Monster, Career yadda yadda yadda...when I had a car I looked for signs in windows... It is certainly not for trying that I haven't found a job. The economy sucks, people are continuing to move out of the area, teachers are being let go, businesses are closing at a accelerated rate. I am waiting for the big black dust clouds to start blowing in.
I just feel like listing the 46 State jobs I have applied for, for fun.
They keep a list of them just to let you know what a big loser you are.
Note: Below are State of Georgia jobs for which you have applied in the past. The applications having the Screening Type of Resume Review, although in history, are still available to State agency recruiters for consideration and review. In contrast, the applications for the Screening Types of both Qualifications Assessment and Scored Evaluation are not available to recruiters as the evaluation or score has expired.
My Jobs History list contains 46 job(s).
Job Title Screening Type Last Action
Administrative Assistant 427-60104ba [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Administrative Specialist 1 427-60011ab [Details] Resume Review 9/24/2003
Child Support Enforcement Supe 427-14402ae [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
Child Support Services Agent 2 427-14401cs [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Child Support Services Agent 2 427-14401ct [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Clerk 2, General 371-60108bw [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Clerk 2, General 461-60108cb [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Communicable Disease Spec 128-70502am [Details] Resume Review 4/23/2004
Communicable Disease Specialis 427-70502ay [Details] Resume Review 9/11/2003
Community Resource Coordinator 364-70209au [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/15/2004
Crime Victim Compensation Spec 471-14686ac [Details] Resume Review 12/4/2003
DFCS Medicaid Eligibility Spec 127-14405jb [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
District Liaison/PHSO Program 427-70002gv [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412yl [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412wj [Details] Resume Review 3/3/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412xx [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412nl [Details] Resume Review 8/10/2004
HR Consultant 2 (GTA) 980-06016aa [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
Instructor 2 (DJJ) 461-11403ax [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/14/2006
Instructor 2 (DJJ) 461-11403al [Details] Resume Review 11/4/2003
Juvenile Correctional Officer 461-17246df [Details] Resume Review 1/27/2004
Juvenile Probation/Parole Spec 461-17422bg [Details] Qualifications Assessment 8/2/2006
Juvenile Probation/Parole Spec 461-17423aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Legislative Information Specia 430-95513aa [Details] Resume Review 11/4/2003
ORS Standards Surveyor- Atlant 427-19619bc [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
ORS Standards Surveyor- Gaines 427-19619bd [Details] Resume Review 8/10/2004
PAROLE OFFICER 465-17527aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Personal Advocate 427-14008an [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
PH Educator 128-70701cc [Details] Resume Review 12/30/2005
Pre-Release Coordinator 467-14102aa [Details] Resume Review 12/4/2003
PROBATION OFFICER I/II 467-17502aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Program Assistant (DHR) 427-60112uw [Details] Resume Review 3/3/2006
Social Serv Tech 2 371-70923cf [Details] Resume Review 12/31/2003
Social Serv Tech 2 371-70923dr [Details] Qualifications Assessment 6/20/2007
Social Serv Tech 3 364-70922au [Details] Qualifications Assessment 6/15/2004
Social Serv Tech 3 364-70922bk [Details] Qualifications Assessment 7/5/2006
Social Service Technician 3 364-70922bn [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/27/2006
Social Services Tech 1, Child 369-70924bl [Details] Resume Review 4/23/2004
Social Services Tech 3 364-70922aw [Details] Qualifications Assessment 12/15/2004
Social Services Tech 3 371-70922ai [Details] Resume Review 9/23/2003
Staff Develop/Trng Coord 2 461-16911ad [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Staff Development/Training Coo 440-16911ab [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Teacher SWD-10202aa [Details] Qualifications Assessment 2/9/2004
Teacher (DHR) 427-10204an [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Veteran's Benefits Counselor 488-14447ay [Details] Resume Review 11/11/2003
Veteran's Benefits Counselor 488-14447ca [Details] Qualifications Assessment 12/21/2006
I must have applied for at least 200 hundred other jobs, ranging from no degree required or HS/GED.
Every day, I visit the State Jobs Site, the Georgia Department of Labor Site, Craigslist, and individual agency/company/industry sites...I use the newspaper want ads, I exhausted my contacts a long time ago...I use the Fed's Site...Monster, Career yadda yadda yadda...when I had a car I looked for signs in windows... It is certainly not for trying that I haven't found a job. The economy sucks, people are continuing to move out of the area, teachers are being let go, businesses are closing at a accelerated rate. I am waiting for the big black dust clouds to start blowing in.
I just feel like listing the 46 State jobs I have applied for, for fun.
They keep a list of them just to let you know what a big loser you are.
Note: Below are State of Georgia jobs for which you have applied in the past. The applications having the Screening Type of Resume Review, although in history, are still available to State agency recruiters for consideration and review. In contrast, the applications for the Screening Types of both Qualifications Assessment and Scored Evaluation are not available to recruiters as the evaluation or score has expired.
My Jobs History list contains 46 job(s).
Job Title Screening Type Last Action
Administrative Assistant 427-60104ba [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Administrative Specialist 1 427-60011ab [Details] Resume Review 9/24/2003
Child Support Enforcement Supe 427-14402ae [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
Child Support Services Agent 2 427-14401cs [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Child Support Services Agent 2 427-14401ct [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Clerk 2, General 371-60108bw [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Clerk 2, General 461-60108cb [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
Communicable Disease Spec 128-70502am [Details] Resume Review 4/23/2004
Communicable Disease Specialis 427-70502ay [Details] Resume Review 9/11/2003
Community Resource Coordinator 364-70209au [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/15/2004
Crime Victim Compensation Spec 471-14686ac [Details] Resume Review 12/4/2003
DFCS Medicaid Eligibility Spec 127-14405jb [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
District Liaison/PHSO Program 427-70002gv [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412yl [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412wj [Details] Resume Review 3/3/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412xx [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Family Independence Case Mgr 1 127-14412nl [Details] Resume Review 8/10/2004
HR Consultant 2 (GTA) 980-06016aa [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
Instructor 2 (DJJ) 461-11403ax [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/14/2006
Instructor 2 (DJJ) 461-11403al [Details] Resume Review 11/4/2003
Juvenile Correctional Officer 461-17246df [Details] Resume Review 1/27/2004
Juvenile Probation/Parole Spec 461-17422bg [Details] Qualifications Assessment 8/2/2006
Juvenile Probation/Parole Spec 461-17423aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Legislative Information Specia 430-95513aa [Details] Resume Review 11/4/2003
ORS Standards Surveyor- Atlant 427-19619bc [Details] Resume Review 2/18/2004
ORS Standards Surveyor- Gaines 427-19619bd [Details] Resume Review 8/10/2004
PAROLE OFFICER 465-17527aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Personal Advocate 427-14008an [Details] Resume Review 10/1/2008
PH Educator 128-70701cc [Details] Resume Review 12/30/2005
Pre-Release Coordinator 467-14102aa [Details] Resume Review 12/4/2003
PROBATION OFFICER I/II 467-17502aa [Details] Scored Evaluation 10/16/2009
Program Assistant (DHR) 427-60112uw [Details] Resume Review 3/3/2006
Social Serv Tech 2 371-70923cf [Details] Resume Review 12/31/2003
Social Serv Tech 2 371-70923dr [Details] Qualifications Assessment 6/20/2007
Social Serv Tech 3 364-70922au [Details] Qualifications Assessment 6/15/2004
Social Serv Tech 3 364-70922bk [Details] Qualifications Assessment 7/5/2006
Social Service Technician 3 364-70922bn [Details] Qualifications Assessment 9/27/2006
Social Services Tech 1, Child 369-70924bl [Details] Resume Review 4/23/2004
Social Services Tech 3 364-70922aw [Details] Qualifications Assessment 12/15/2004
Social Services Tech 3 371-70922ai [Details] Resume Review 9/23/2003
Staff Develop/Trng Coord 2 461-16911ad [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Staff Development/Training Coo 440-16911ab [Details] Resume Review 3/11/2005
Teacher SWD-10202aa [Details] Qualifications Assessment 2/9/2004
Teacher (DHR) 427-10204an [Details] Resume Review 11/1/2006
Veteran's Benefits Counselor 488-14447ay [Details] Resume Review 11/11/2003
Veteran's Benefits Counselor 488-14447ca [Details] Qualifications Assessment 12/21/2006
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