Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Mom (Esther) ~ Suzanne ~ Auntie Vi (Viola) This is a nice picture of my mom, a niece from California and Auntie Vi from her 90th Birthday Celebration. The niece, Suzanne is the daughter of their late brother Raymond.
Suzanne and her husband traveled from California to Minnesota.
Mom reported the plane trip over was difficult, the return was easier. Evidently, mom had to be very assertive with a few Delta employees who argued with her about her seat placement. Stupid employees, just because she has white hair and is 88 does not mean that she will not stand up to anyone who she feels has overstepped their bounds. That is one trait I wish I had inherited.
Alex has wrecked my Jeep. I don't know if I will ever get the truth. I thought we were through all the lies. I don't understand why, when the truth is the easiest course, that people lie. He had asked to borrow it because he said his car was making odd noises and was in need of an oil change. Because the trip to rehearsal is over 100 miles round trip, I agreed that he should take it.
He woke me Sunday morning with a "Mom, someone has hit your car." The moment I saw it I knew it had not been hit on our street, as there was no debris about. I asked him what happened, and the lies started. He didn't know, it must've been on the street where the party was. He became angrier and angrier and nasty and surly. It was as if the nightmare of his High School years were coming back. I became sick to my stomach and thought I was going to vomit right there on the street for all the neighbors to view.
After much yammering back-and-forth, and police coming out (Alex called them) it was determined (I already knew) that the Jeep had not been side-swiped by another vehicle, but had been driven into some sort of concrete object. The police confronted him with his lie, so I didn't have to. That is narcissist in its full twisted glory, they think they are smarter than everyone else, and we will believe their lies.
The police called the State Patrol who came to inspect the car and confront Alex. The officer told me at my indication he would arrest him for fraudulent reporting of an accident and failure to report the incident when it happened.
Alex, all puffy and full of himself (having been caught in his lie) said go ahead and take me to jail. The police and the officer were probably thrilled to take him up on his ridiculous remark.
I could not see where anything positive would come from it. I would have to get an attorney and pay for the that, and then there would be bail to get him out of jail. I declined as I have about 22 dollars to my name.
Now I have a wrecked vehicle, no transportation, no way to get to a job interview, if one ever comes. I am hesitant to use the insurance company, as I know the rates will go sky high. And since I came back here I have been hit twice by stupid drivers. The first accident when a stupid boy rear-ended it whilst it was parked on the street. The second when I was working in Atlanta and having to drive back and forth everyday in the most horrid traffic. A stupid woman rear-ended me on the freeway and my neck and back were injured in that one. Even though I was not at fault, and the offending driver's insurance paid for the repairs, they count accidents and this would make 3 for my now 11 year old Jeep. Something about 3 accidents and the age of the vehicle, and surcharges and all sorts of legalese/insurancese that makes my head spin.
Alex created this chaos, and I want him to deal with it. I just am not emotionally able to deal with this. I hate to admit that I am unable to control my emotions, but this is just too much right now.
The only bit of truth to come out is he admitted that he hit something. He says he fell asleep whilst returning from a party after Opera rehearsal. He muttered something about being up for 14 hours or something. I didn't express my thought that if he was that tired he should have foregone the party and gone straight home after rehearsal.
I went through much of the same with his father for the 10 years we were married. Lie after lie after lie. There must be some genetic connection, because I certainly did not intend to raise a liar. I realised that after I questioned myself about "where did I fail in parenting?"
At least things are better with mom. She seems a bit softer and has not been all that abusive to me since she returned from her trip. Thank you G-d!
I hope she realised, being away for a week, that I am not the enemy.

1 comment:

Novel said...

I hope she has realised it too. You could do with a kinder mother.

Shame that Alex has put you through all this. Have you asked him what he is going to do? He must have your car repaired. He must work to do it too!
((((((((((((Ema))))))))))) Stay strong.

The Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama

Visits

Mo and her Mom

Mo and her Mom

About Me

My photo
I was born in the Year Of The Snake in the City of Angels. I have worked as an Adult Literacy Teacher, Litigation Paralegal and Middle School Teacher. I hold degrees in Psychology and Sociology and Political Science and Government.